Even my distractions are progress tonight

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Look what I finally did, it’s not finished yet, but I cut my hair. Yay! Just a quick pic to see what I need to do to the back still…not high enough yet, but the sides are done. Not much left to do.

Yeah this is still that faded our color I put in last month, I don’t have money for a new boxed color so I think I will break out my people manic panic dye that I forgot about. Hey, why not.

I just got back from the grocery store, walked the mile there and hopped the bus home, yes with my hair just like this, but I got my exercise in for today. I’m feeling good! Dinners baking so off I go to finish the cut.

Have a great night everyone!

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Finding motivation update

Hey y’all, quick check-in after an tiresome few days.

Things are going ok. My son has had some very early morning commitments that I needed to attend with him so I’ve been napping a few hours each day then sleeping a few hours each night before starting again; it’s draining but we rose to the challenge. Yay us.

On top of low energy I am really beginning to feel the crunch of having to move. I keep stalling using my lack of boxes as an excuse, but in all reality I cannot stall anymore. It’s all coming to a head and I don’t have a choice but to get over it and move on. My neighbor is moving the end of this month and watching him sell off his belongings has not been easy. I’m trying to use it as motivation for me to do the same but I’m not quite there yet. I’m really going to miss my neighborhood.

With all of this taxi riding and napping laziness happening I forced myself to get out for a but today. I walked the mile to Grocery Outlet and hoped the bus home due to the heavy bags, but later I pushed myself to walk the mile round trip to a a corner store for a drink. It was so sunny, warm and nice, it felt great to get out. On the plus side I can see in my face that I am losing weight 🙂

Oh, piercing update: my lip is healing and looking good. My inner lip was pretty chewed up from the labret investing with the swelling, but the indent is now closing up since switching to the smaller lip ring (16g and a diameter that almost hugs my lip). I’m feeling good and think I will be piercing my nose soon, but first my hair needs attention.

Any fun stories from your week? Please share, I could use a smile.

Spring sun and plans = progress

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There is something about the spring sunshine that invigorates me. Just seeing it outside of my window energizes me. I have made even more progress on the house today and have clear goals laid out to accomplish before The Walking Dead comes on tonight. I can do this! I will be packed to move (daily necessities aside) by the end of the month then I can focus on the move out cleaning and giving/selling what I don’t get rid of this month. God knows I have a ton of boxes soured in the closet that need sorting after I’ve packed, almost 15 years of memories and hidden clutter that need new homes. For now I focus on what I see daily that I absolutely know will be going with us and what absolutely won’t. If I don’t break it down in these focuses then I will not make progress, it’s to overwhelming. I know by the end of the month I will have a box or 2 of thing that I just couldn’t decide on keeping and hope to just donate that box. It’s amazing how much accumulated when you don’t move for almost 14 years.

Here’s to a plan and steps to accomplishing it. Cheers

Mirrors lie weight loss challenge

As I look in the mirror and contemplate my next hairstyle and possibly color as I’m not sure this one will make it past another week, I realize just how badly I need to lose weight. It’s funny how you see yourself daily but it isn’t until you start snapping pics to see how shorter hair will look that you see how fat your face is, especially that double chin. Seriously, I barely recognize myself!

So I challenge myself and anyone reading, for the next 2 weeks to do 50 of each: push ups, crunches, and lying side crunches (each side). Also 3 sets of 3-min rounds of cardio (treadmill, elliptical, cycle, walk, run, jump rope…). In 2 weeks we increase. This was my workout routine when my son boxed, it works.

Let me know how it goes, I will. We can do this!

Lazy Sunday

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Happy lazy Sunday everyone. I think this meme says it all for me, I’m still laying here looking at the ceiling contemplating the day. My awesome son surprised me with a delicious breakfast this morning, such a sweet guy at times.

Hmmm, what to do today? I need to run to the store, maybe clean until The Walking Dead comes on…of course that has me laying here contemplating escaping the house. Lol I’m bad, I know, anything to distract myself.

Well, whatever happens today I hope you ask have a great day and enjoy some time with loved ones.

Haunted goodbyes

Is there a clinical term for overwhelmed and not motivated? I know I should be packing and purging, but I don’t want to leave the couch and fireplace to even get the laundry to fold. Ok, I made myself do that and other basics in household maintenance, but I had to MAKE myself which is not right.

Yeah there’s some depression and a lot of avoidance happening right now and most of it is surrounding the move. We’ve lived here almost all of my son’s life, about 13 years. We have so many memories here, both good and bad, it’s hard to say goodbye.

Typically I enjoy moving but what makes this different is that it is severely affecting my son. His friends, activities, and memories are here. He is upset, withdrawn, and showing it like guys do…”nothing’s wrong” then shutting himself away. Watching this affect him makes it hard on me. I busted my ass to ensure he had a stable home to grow up in, even remaining here when I wanted to run away from memories because I knew it was more important to give my son stability. Now I can’t even give him one lat summer let alone his high school years.

Maybe I’m feeling like a failure because I can’t afford the rent hike. Even so, I would refuse to pay $1650 for this small place. I guess I just don’t like to know I can’t swing something even if I chose not to pay in the end; it’s having the option to not stay due to the increase instead of having the decision made for me.

Then there’s having to go through things and purging. I still have things of my dad’s that I’ve stored away and things of his that are in use that need to be given away. I’m not thrilled about the memories that going through things will bring. Baby clothes saved for the 2nd child that I would never have. Baggage.

I have 2-3 months to get through this, I need to step up. I can do this. Maybe it’s a good thing we have to move, it’s time I let go. Make a list, table one room at a time before moving on.

Just 1 more night vegging then I start on the first room.

Yay, New black shirts

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I don’t buy myself new clothes often so I am totally ecstatic, I got a new pack of Hanes shirts (undershirt style, nothing feels better)!! I know that they don’t look like much, but this is a gift far beyond all of those fancy shmancy tops people expect women to wear; these are comfy and badass when they fit just right. My only complaint is that they don’t sell them in a 4 pack of all black. Oh well, I’ll dye the grey ones.

I’m kind of bummed, I had to go up a size so it has room to shrink down for that nice fit. Motivation to lose weight though.

I feel good, nothing like comfy new shirts.

 

BTW, sorry for the bathroom pic (it’s not my bathroom).

The journey begins

Has it really been a year since I started this blog? It seems like I haven’t gotten very far, but I’m sure there are some small things if I think about it. There are just so many emotions to dig through and far more distractions.

Distractions, always so welcome.

I did start deciding last year and made a lot of progress…then distraction. My sister and her family came to stay with us for about 6 months. Hmm, maybe that was more like a setback in ways and trigger to other issues I need to work on. It’s real hard to progress in cleaning and decluttering when there are 6 people living on top of each other in a not-so-big 2 bedroom with no storage space.

Of course, once my family moved out relief set in. After rearranging the common areas loneliness set in. It’s so quiet when it’s just 2 people and my son’s a teen so it’s not like he’s around much, and it sucks cooking for just 2. I’ve found myself retreating to books the past month or so, I’ve become neglectful of some of my responsibilities. Not good.

One good thing about books is that they make you think and I have truly been doing a lot of that lately. There are some new developments that are forcing me to confront the past and think about what I really want. It is very difficult, I already struggle to shut my brain down to sleep. How can I truly envision my future if I keep ignoring my past? How can I overcome what’s holding me back if I am not host with myself?

It is time. I must do this. I’m so glad I rediscovered my screen name, I can’t keep this all in my head.