Hello Fresh, fixing my diet

One step in fixing me is working on my diet. I thought returning to work would help me with this, but it ended up making things worse. Instead of buying more veggies and better quality food for home cooked meals we ran in a whole other direction, restaurants and fast food. Between multiple closing shifts a week and a sore Achilles tendon after long shifts I had little desire to cook. Until last week.

Last week I came across an ad for Hello Fresh, a meal delivery service full of foods I already eat, but in healthier combination with more natural ingredients and more adult flavors. Tonight I cooked our first meal, Spaghetti with ragu. Delicious!!

Ok I may have altered the recipe just a tad, but I only added to the flavor. Steam peeled tomatoes, zucchini, garlic, onion, ground beef, Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper were all included in a package with spaghetti noodles of choose. I chose to add Johnny’s seasoning salt, powdered garlic, and 2 bay leaves because, hey, it’s spaghetti and I needed a touch more flavor. They also include a small bottle of Colavita Pepperolio which adds spice (heat) to the sauce and had earned a permanent place in my pantry. All of this combined with grated parmesan (surprisingly not included) have changed the way I will make spaghetti in the future. Bye bye sugary packaged sauces.

My biggest concern when I received my order was portion sizes. After tonight’s meal I don’t think portion sizes will be a problem. As you can see in the picture above, one serving (I order a 2 serving meal which feeds 2) is more than enough, I didn’t even take half of the sauce! If all of their meals are like tonight’s then I’m hooked!

Unfortunately my son was away for the weekend so I won’t know his thoughts on tonight’s mall until I cook it again, but I have a feeling he too will be hooked.

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So excited, preparing for work!

It’s almost Wednesday, why is the week going so slowly?!?! I have orientation for my new job on Monday, then find out my schedule. I so can’t wait! Why do I have to wait?! Very few people in my life know me well, well the old me, the me who enjoys working and getting paid. Heck, they don’t even know the me that loves Nike’s and coats, eating out and dining with friends; this girl has been hidden and denied too long.

It’s amazing how simply accepting a job has boosted my mood and confidence. It’s hard living life making ends meet but not having anything left to spend on fun…one can only do the same free things so many times before it no longer feels fun. Five years and I feel like I’m starting a new life, almost like leaving home for the first time. 

Today I bought a shirt for my first day and can’t wait to shop for another. Tomorrow I plan to hang our big white board and set it up to operate as our command center, with me being gone so much my son will need a place to look so he knows what will need to be done and a place to communicate (hold our notes) so we don’t forget. I don’t know what my schedules will look like but I do know opening and closing shifts are going to happen, this means pre-planning dinners and emphasising cooking lessons with my son are a must. I know he’d be happy if I gave him money to eat out most nights, but what’s the point in working if all the money goes to eating out. I feel so bad leaving him to his own devices, and a bit scared, but he’s almost 16 and knows how to manage and what’s expected, even if he chooses to not fulfill expectations 🙂 Funny, I never worried about him being home alone when he was younger, but then he just layed around playing games, now he hops buses and chills with friends…I guess me being here doesn’t make that big of a difference in what he does, huh? Until girls are involved at least.

Sunday surprise!!

Today was amazing! I woke up to a missed call from a box store that I applied to Friday. Surprisingly they wanted to interview me today, Sunday. So after 2 interviews and some paperwork I am now employed at said box store!! I can’t believe it, amazing Sunday!!

After 5 years as a stay home mom and homeschool teacher, I felt the time was right to return to work. My son is almost 16, pretty independent and not home much, so why not? I tried looking for work briefly last year before finding out I needed to move, with no luck, but after a week of submitting applications I am finally employed!! 

This is a big step, one that I’ve thought out a bit. I know that I will eventually need 2 jobs, Ke won’t be my dependent for much longer (3 more years :/ where’d time go?). So instead of jumping into my previous job title, further utilizing my certification, I decided it’s better to start with my soon to be 2nd job so I can work up the pay scale a bit. Fingers crossed this all goes well. I’ve worked at this job when I was much younger so I know I can do it, and the company is amazing toward their employees so I know I can move up and will enjoy it.

Who me, Suzzy homemaker?

Oddly enough I’m becoming more of a “Suzzy homemaker” than I ever imagined. Our new apartment with it’s new appliances has brought out the part of me that actually wants to clean. Yeah I still have my lazy days, afterall, cleaning up after teens who seem to find new ways to slack off can grind on everyone, but I’ve come a long way from where I was at the old place. I find myself, this moment, standing in the kitchen surrounded by new appliances wondering if there’s an easier way to wipe down the brushed stainless steel appliances without leaving weird discoloration steaks. The old me is laughing at, but proud of the new me.

A new reality, but how

I’m at this phase in my life where I’d rather live a fantasy. Hop a bus for nowhere, get a diner job, and marry Mr sexy good guy who sees me for the amazing, beautiful woman I am…
I’m tired of living my reality, I need a new reality. Is that even possible without making major change? If not then what change is truly needed?

This is on my mind; I need to explore this further.

Yay, New black shirts

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I don’t buy myself new clothes often so I am totally ecstatic, I got a new pack of Hanes shirts (undershirt style, nothing feels better)!! I know that they don’t look like much, but this is a gift far beyond all of those fancy shmancy tops people expect women to wear; these are comfy and badass when they fit just right. My only complaint is that they don’t sell them in a 4 pack of all black. Oh well, I’ll dye the grey ones.

I’m kind of bummed, I had to go up a size so it has room to shrink down for that nice fit. Motivation to lose weight though.

I feel good, nothing like comfy new shirts.

 

BTW, sorry for the bathroom pic (it’s not my bathroom).

Try something new

 

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I took a chance and tried something new, a permanent hair dye! I have to say I’m not too disappointed so far, 24 hours later. It’s Revlon’s Cornsilk, Ammonia Free, Burgundy.

Typically, when I play with my hair color I stick with temporary dyes and usually in the apricot range. My hair is thinner so I try to avoid ammonia and other harshness, not to mention that the last permanent coloring I tried turned carrot orange in my blond hair. So no bueno.

The coloring is spot on with the box, and it covered my grey too (shhhh). What in not thrilled about is that it has no highlighting or color variation so it looks like it came from a box. What I do like, other than the color accuracy, is the conditioner it came with left my hair softer than it was prior; I can’t stop touching it.

I’m not sure if I will go burgundy again, it’s fun but not quite fitting my mood right now. Truth be told it was my favorite shade when I was in high school, but reconstructing my high school self is not my goal; I’m not the same mixed up mess I was back then.

The best part of expressing yourself through body art, like fun hair colors, is that it encourages you to play with the rest of your look. I guess it’s like they say, if you want to clean a room then but something new and pretty to decorate that room, it motivated you to clean. Speaking of which I have been on WordPress much too long today and need to finish of my cleaning list.

Good night all, don’t be scared to try something new.

The journey begins

Has it really been a year since I started this blog? It seems like I haven’t gotten very far, but I’m sure there are some small things if I think about it. There are just so many emotions to dig through and far more distractions.

Distractions, always so welcome.

I did start deciding last year and made a lot of progress…then distraction. My sister and her family came to stay with us for about 6 months. Hmm, maybe that was more like a setback in ways and trigger to other issues I need to work on. It’s real hard to progress in cleaning and decluttering when there are 6 people living on top of each other in a not-so-big 2 bedroom with no storage space.

Of course, once my family moved out relief set in. After rearranging the common areas loneliness set in. It’s so quiet when it’s just 2 people and my son’s a teen so it’s not like he’s around much, and it sucks cooking for just 2. I’ve found myself retreating to books the past month or so, I’ve become neglectful of some of my responsibilities. Not good.

One good thing about books is that they make you think and I have truly been doing a lot of that lately. There are some new developments that are forcing me to confront the past and think about what I really want. It is very difficult, I already struggle to shut my brain down to sleep. How can I truly envision my future if I keep ignoring my past? How can I overcome what’s holding me back if I am not host with myself?

It is time. I must do this. I’m so glad I rediscovered my screen name, I can’t keep this all in my head.

Hindering a night owl

I’m a night owl. Yes I can get up and do stuff during the day, but I do my best work at night. I’m finding that this goes double when it comes to cleaning house.

When my son was little I would do a thorough cleaning on one of my days off, usually from 11-3 AM. He would always get up the next morning and his eyes would light up in surprise and admiration at what I accomplished while he slept. I really miss seeing this look on his face, but he’s old enough to be a part of the cleaning process. Unfortunately I get way more accomplished while he sleeps. Maybe I should keep him involved in the daily routine but do the thorough myself. I guess I should think about this more.

I dunno, as motivated as I am at night to clean I have a houseguest for the school year who sleeps on the couch. I guess I need to just suck it up and find it in me to get this done during the day. 😦  So many excuse, I can’t pick just one.
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Decluttering=a bigger mess

I finally started my declutter mission. It is a task to fit 15+ mins into my current cleaning routine, but I’m doing it. I have 2 paper bags full of items to donate and someone just came to pick up my son’s old basketball hoop. It felt so good to see things go.

Unfortunately for me decluttering creates an even bigger mess. Pulling things out and going through them often leaves some items displaced. 😦 This could get messy, I hope the boys don’t want a slumber party anytime soon. Sure eventually things will find a place or go, but if I try to find a place now I will never fully go through things or have to sort that item again when I get to that room.  I could be doing this wrong, but I’m easily distracted do I don’t want to deviate.

Advice?