When I pierced my lip I didn’t do it to impress or attract anyone, I did it because when I look at my face even with make up on it is incomplete to me. I have a mental picture of myself and what I see there is not what I see in the mirror, it’s not a true reflection of myself. No, I’m not ugly, but I wasn’t expressing myself the way I truly wanted to; makeup is not my preferred medium, I like body jewelry.
Who knew that with just one piece of jewelry strategically selected and placed my confidence would leap. Ok maybe that combined with losing a little weight in my face, but seriously I noticed that I’m not shying away from people as much. It’s weird because “it’s just jewelry.” It doesn’t make me tougher, harder, scarier…it doesn’t really change me, it simply makes me more comfortable. I know it adds to my beauty and can even seduce a guy from across the room just watching me work it with my mouth, but it’s just an accessory, an extension of me.
My sex drive is going bizurko! Seriously, I can’t get enough and I’m not even truly getting any! My anxiety level is ridiculous between the move, bills, taxes, and my son’s lack of participation in house and lessons; I need some real satisfying, more than I’m able to give myself. Or maybe I just need to re-channel my energy.
I found myself wanting to call my ex, he’s always down to be with me, but I can’t. His new roommate is a prostitute? escort? whatever and I know him too well; I know they are hooking up and he is not one to use protection. If I can’t trust someone to be clean then I can’t allow you in my body, even with a condom because those break. >sigh< Well, I guess I need to channel my frustrations because I won't comprise my standards, I don't have time to screen people, and I definitely don't want to go back any further in my past for candidates.
Sometimes it's hard being single, but I chose this.
Look what I finally did, it’s not finished yet, but I cut my hair. Yay! Just a quick pic to see what I need to do to the back still…not high enough yet, but the sides are done. Not much left to do.
Yeah this is still that faded our color I put in last month, I don’t have money for a new boxed color so I think I will break out my people manic panic dye that I forgot about. Hey, why not.
I just got back from the grocery store, walked the mile there and hopped the bus home, yes with my hair just like this, but I got my exercise in for today. I’m feeling good! Dinners baking so off I go to finish the cut.
Have a great night everyone!
The day can wait, there’s a Back to the Future marathon on today and I’m on the last one.
Hey guys, I’ve not posted much in the last week or so, not much going on. I’ve gotten a couple of drafts started here exploring my feelings on some things and my past, but my head just isn’t in it. I’ve even picked up boxes and started packing some, yes progress is being made.
So there was some good news this week, I was put on the wait list for a few townhouse apartments and got a call about an opening in June for one of them. Unfortunately I couldn’t jump on it, but it was good to know that I may not be couch during long this summer. I know you’re probably wondering why I declined, but I had good reason. For one I receive housing assistance and in order to move to another county I have to pay off all my utility bills which skyrocket during the winter so I need to use my money for this and then focus on saving a deposit. Two, it takes time to transfer the assistance to another county and I have no idea how long that will take if I’m not moving until July 1…you know apartments won’t want to hold the place more than a few weeks. So that is why I declined, I actually have my priorities in order and need to stick to them.
With things starting to fall in place I decided some family time and retail therapy was in order. I know I should have saved the money, but my son needed new shoes again and I needed a break. I have to say it was well worth it!
Well back to my show. Hope your weekend beautiful and you have a moment of fun.
Hey y’all, quick check-in after an tiresome few days.
Things are going ok. My son has had some very early morning commitments that I needed to attend with him so I’ve been napping a few hours each day then sleeping a few hours each night before starting again; it’s draining but we rose to the challenge. Yay us.
On top of low energy I am really beginning to feel the crunch of having to move. I keep stalling using my lack of boxes as an excuse, but in all reality I cannot stall anymore. It’s all coming to a head and I don’t have a choice but to get over it and move on. My neighbor is moving the end of this month and watching him sell off his belongings has not been easy. I’m trying to use it as motivation for me to do the same but I’m not quite there yet. I’m really going to miss my neighborhood.
With all of this taxi riding and napping laziness happening I forced myself to get out for a but today. I walked the mile to Grocery Outlet and hoped the bus home due to the heavy bags, but later I pushed myself to walk the mile round trip to a a corner store for a drink. It was so sunny, warm and nice, it felt great to get out. On the plus side I can see in my face that I am losing weight 🙂
Oh, piercing update: my lip is healing and looking good. My inner lip was pretty chewed up from the labret investing with the swelling, but the indent is now closing up since switching to the smaller lip ring (16g and a diameter that almost hugs my lip). I’m feeling good and think I will be piercing my nose soon, but first my hair needs attention.
Any fun stories from your week? Please share, I could use a smile.
Yup, that’s me today. I have done absolutely nothing today except watched Ink Master, showered, and ate. I’m just run down today, tired, I’m not even sure why. I forced myself to leave the house yesterday, but today it’s just not happening.
Truly I have nothing on my mind today.
I think I need to set 2 goals to accomplish before bed…what to choose? Laundry? Vacuuming? Hmm those might not be a bad place to start. Let’s see if I feel like more as I check them off my list (not that laundry is ever done). For now my goal is to watch another episode of Ink Masters.
There is something about the spring sunshine that invigorates me. Just seeing it outside of my window energizes me. I have made even more progress on the house today and have clear goals laid out to accomplish before The Walking Dead comes on tonight. I can do this! I will be packed to move (daily necessities aside) by the end of the month then I can focus on the move out cleaning and giving/selling what I don’t get rid of this month. God knows I have a ton of boxes soured in the closet that need sorting after I’ve packed, almost 15 years of memories and hidden clutter that need new homes. For now I focus on what I see daily that I absolutely know will be going with us and what absolutely won’t. If I don’t break it down in these focuses then I will not make progress, it’s to overwhelming. I know by the end of the month I will have a box or 2 of thing that I just couldn’t decide on keeping and hope to just donate that box. It’s amazing how much accumulated when you don’t move for almost 14 years.
Here’s to a plan and steps to accomplishing it. Cheers
Success!! I managed to reach a couple of goals today 🙂 I made it to the grocery store, made 2 separate Buy Nothing pick ups and even got exercise!! Oh I even cleaned the bathroom and kitchen. Yay me!
Since I had done more riding in vehicles today than walking I chose to walk to my last Buy Nothing pick up which was just under a mile away. It was a very nice walk. The return home was a little challenging as I had 2 garbage bags full of boys size 18 jeans, luckily after a while your hands go somewhat numb. I do have to say waking with garbage bags down a main street in the dark is a somewhat humbling experience as the first assumption people seem to have is that you’re a “bag lady.”
Today was definitely another good day!
Side note: if you have not gotten into the Buy Nothing movement you should look into it. They are local Facebook groups across the U.S. with the goal of bringing neighbors together. It’s a giving group and sooo awesome!
I can’t believe how great today ended up being! Since losing the car mid month and being cooped up in the house due to low funds I declared today my day out. Boy did I need it! I hoped a bus with my sister and little niece and hit the mall. Seriously, it was sunny, warm, and I just got paid so hell yeah mall it was.
We walked our asses off doubling back and forth as each of us took turns selecting our next destination (I guess I won’t feel so bad for not working out like I intended to). It’s amazing how fun it is to just clown with friends/family outside of home, my niece even made trying on sunglasses into a fun event…she’s adorable.
So my one destination and motivation to hit that particular mall was to hit the body piercing spot and pick up a new labret stud with a longer stem, my hoop was too big, heavy, and driving me crazy and the original labret stud was still too short to allow the inside of my lip to heal right. Well I got one and it feels great!! I’ll post a pic tomorrow, can’t see it in the dark. 🙂
Anyways, I’m exhausted and have more running to do tomorrow…a new day, new missions. Good night all.